What is the world’s most annoying question?
For me, it’s this one.
Usually, it’s not even directed at me.
It’s a question asked to my parents, usually in my presence:
“So, when are you going to start having grandkids?”
Just because Mom stopped having kids, it doesn’t mean I have to start.
In this day and age, at least where I am, relationships are everything. Ten, eleven, twelve-year-old girls hook up and break up by the month. Girls not much older are making out (and worse) around street corners, in abandoned stadiums, in cars on the side of the road in dark alleys.
The radio is constantly playing songs with lyrics that are far too dirty to quote here. The way those songwriters look at girls is appalling.
Depending on where you look for your information, 116 out of every thousand girls between 15-19 years old (in Bolivia), are pregnant. That’s 10% of all 15-19-year-old females in this country.
Just because every other girl that was in my youth group five years ago is married or a single mom now—that does not mean I have to be.
Note: I am not saying that all things relationship-related are bad.
I know some awesome married couples, and others who are in a process moving towards marriage.
What I’m saying is: The way most people look at relationships is bad.
“In a relationship” on Facebook might last a couple of months. “We’re dating” means “This guy’s a friend with benefits; I’ll break up with him in two months.”
People change significant others about as often as they change clothes.
There’s the most annoying question. Guess what the most annoying statement is?
“God has the right guy planned out for you. You just have to work on being the right girl for him.”
First off: Who says God has a partner planned for everyone?
Jesus Christ himself was single.
The Apostle Paul was single.
And it wasn’t just men. There were single women in the Bible too.
In fact, check out this list of single people in the Bible.
- Mary Magdalene
- Mary, Martha, and Lazarus
- Miriam (Moses’s sister)
- Jeremiah (specifically ordered by God NOT to marry)
- John the Baptist.
- Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego
Now, don’t you tell me “God has marriage planned for every one of his children” when the evidence is right there in the Bible.
I don’t claim to speak for God, but the evidence up there convinces me that, maybe, just maybe, God doesn’t have marriage planned for everyone.
*gasp* How dare I say such a thing?
“You be the right kind of girl, and God’ll give you the right kind of guy.”
I’m sorry, but… no. Absolutely not.
Am I supposed to be focusing on improving myself for the elusive future Prince Charming?
So I spend all my time reading my Bible, teaching kids, improving my relationship with God. I put extra effort into my makeup and my hair and improve my relationship with the people around me…
All so I can find a good guy? What if I never do?
Nope. Nopedy nope nope. Absolutely none of the decisions I make in these days, while I’m single, should hinge on finding a guy (doesn’t mean I’m making the mistake of sleeping around—not doing that).
I understand God’s commandment to be fruitful and multiply, and replenish the earth. I understand that children are a blessing. I understand that a full quiver of children is good in God’s eyes.
But just because children are a blessing does not mean I need to rush into a relationship to have them.
Just because marriage is a sacred thing before God does NOT mean that all of my decisions today need to hinge on a future marriage that may or may not happen.
GIRLS: Let’s enjoy being single while we can.
Singleness is our time to be independent, before moving out from our father’s house and into our husband’s (if we get married).
Even Jesus says that being single is a good thing. In Matthew 19, he and his disciples spoke on divorce, and this is what followed (verses 10-12).
His disciples say unto him, If the case of the man be so with his wife, it is not good to marry.
But he said unto them, All men cannot receive this saying, save they to whom it is given.
For there are some eunuchs, which were so born from their mothers’ womb: and there are some eunuchs, which were made eunuchs of men: and there be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven’s sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it.
Eunuchs meaning: not married.
Singleness has its advantages.
Selfish as it sounds, we don’t have to worry about others. If God calls us to Africa, then to Africa we go. There’s no husband nor children to consider.
Singleness also has its disadvantages.
Yeah. Just because I’m not married doesn’t mean I don’t have sexual desires. It doesn’t mean I don’t want kids (though I’d probably be a terrible mom—I have no sympathy).
It doesn’t mean I don’t hurt when I see all the people my age getting married and having babies.
I believe we all long for companionship, a spiritual partner, a soulmate. I also believe that not having a husband is helping me to grow close to God, relying on Him, instead of another human being.
But all of the above will never stop all those people who say, “Oh, you’re still single?”
Here are some good comebacks either I or my online buddies have come up with:
“I’m too busy polishing up my armor of God to worry about finding a guy.”
“He’s obviously out riding a tortoise very confused.”
“I’m in a long-distance relationship. My boyfriend lives in the future.”
“Where’s your boyfriend?”
“That’s a really good question. I’ll let you know when I find him.”
Or this one:
“Why aren’t you married yet?”
“I’m overqualified and I like men with brains.”
Speak up, girls. Why are you still single?
And what are your best comebacks for that question?